Fighting Counsel Culture in Genealogy

We’ve all been watching as our amazing United States of America seems to crumble under the weight of division, largely thanks to a phenomenon called “Counsel Culture.” As a genealogist, I’ve seen this polarization seep into our community, making it nearly impossible to have open and honest discussions about our ancestors. And let me tell you—I’ve had enough.

I played the neutrality game for a while, carefully tiptoeing around sensitive topics to avoid ruffling feathers. But you know what? No more. It’s time to speak up.

Here’s the thing: There is no place for our modern-day perspectives to override the context of historical reporting. None. Until someone invents a time machine to educate our ancestors on what they “should have known,” we have no business passing judgment on their lives. They lived in a different world, with different norms, and applying today’s enlightened views to their actions is not only unfair—it’s inaccurate.

Take my latest project, for example. I’ve been researching my Romani Traveller ancestors. If you’ve done any work in this area, you’ve likely come across the term “Gypsy.” Today, that word is considered derogatory, but it’s all over historical records and stories about Travellers. Accurately documenting their experiences sometimes requires using the term because that’s how they were referred to in their time.

Recently, I was setting up a WikiTree page on Travellers and saw someone post about “Gypsies.” It was clear they didn’t know the term could be offensive, and there was an opportunity to educate them. Someone did step in, and they handled it kindly—which, let’s face it, isn’t always the case these days. But then they said something that stopped me in my tracks: “I would never use the ‘G-word,’ and I won’t repeat it here.” Why not? Stop telling people to not discuss uncomfortable things in history!

Here’s where I see the problem. By avoiding these words entirely, we’re failing to report history accurately. Sure, we should educate and explain the context, but by refusing to use the language of the time, we risk erasing or sanitizing history. And in doing so, we lose the raw, unvarnished truth about what our ancestors experienced.

History isn’t meant to make us feel good. It’s meant to teach us. When we whitewash the past, we rob future generations of a full understanding of their heritage—the struggles, the triumphs, and yes, the ugly truths.

For too long, I’ve been afraid to speak up, worried I’d be canceled by the loudest voices in the genealogy community. But no more. I’ve seen too much hostility directed at kind, well-meaning people who are simply trying to document history as it happened. These people aren’t hateful—they’re brave enough to share the unfiltered truth.

This weekend, I came across a video by Devon Noel Lee of Family History Fanatics. Her video, How Fear and Bullying Is Silencing Genealogists, and her blog post about “Presentism” (the act of interpreting history through the lens of modern values) struck a chord with me. Finally, someone put words to what I’ve been feeling all along—and it was so validating. Bonus: I learned a new word!

Devan recently became a target of Counsel Culture herself after accurately reporting history in one of her videos. Other genealogists attacked her for simply documenting the subject as it happened. I haven’t yet uncovered all the details about what went down, but it’s clear her experience is a prime example of how this toxic culture is silencing people who are just trying to tell the truth.

Devon shared an idea I absolutely love: Let’s counteract this “Counsel Culture” with a “Culture of Blessing.” Visit other genealogists’ blogs. Watch their videos. Encourage them. Leave supportive comments. Instead of tearing each other down, let’s build each other up.

So here I am, putting my voice out there. Let’s commit to preserving history—warts and all. Let’s document the past without fear, without judgment, and without losing sight of the context in which our ancestors lived. And most importantly, let’s bless and uplift each other as we do it.